Cherishing the Last Firsts

Some of you out there are already mothers, some are new mothers, and some are hoping to be mothers some day. Well today I’m writing for all of you out there; this is a post in which I hope to take you back to your own child’s firsts, to help you to remember that special time in your life where little fingers were so tiny but held so much of your heart. And for the future Moms out there, it is a bittersweet taste of what’s to come.  Some of you will relate right away, while others may need a few years to understand the joyful (yet difficult) phase of mommy-hood I am living through right now; but some day I hope all of us appreciate how precious this season of life truly is.

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My last baby just had her first birthday. After my sweet girl was born I had a tubal ligation so I will have no more babies. I will never go through childbirth again to meet someone I already love. This has been harder to accept than I ever dreamed it would be. I think if I was able I’d have at least one more (if not a few more), much to my husband’s dismay. Being pregnant definitely has its trying moments, but there is something wondrous about feeling your baby kick for the first time, hearing their heart beat for the first time, and of course the excitement of seeing them on the ultrasound screen for the first time. I will miss all of that… but not the swollen ankles, heartburn and never ending morning sickness. In the end when you hear that first cry, hold your baby close and look into their brand new eyes all of the suffering vanishes and you are swept up in the love you have for your child. Simply put: it is one of the most powerful moments of your life. I have been blessed to experience it three times.

My daughter’s first year has been  filled with all of her unique firsts; her first smile, her first word, her first laugh. Each one has been glorious and it has been so very special because they are her firsts; but they are my last firsts. I held her a little longer tonight because she is already walking and dancing, so it won’t be long before she is running and won’t let me hold her still. As I held her I thought about all of her firsts this year. While it is sad to think that I will not have anymore babies, I am so excited to see what this little girl of ours will do next! For a moment though, if you will allow me, I’d like to relive these amazing moments of her first year.

Her first cry: I remember vividly each of my children’s first cries. It is a moment for each mother that is so incredibly meaningful. This tiny being that has been kicking and squirming around for 9 months is finally breathing on the outside and that first lusty cry is your signal that they’re okay. My daughter, Aubrey,  well her first cry didn’t come right away. In fact, as the seconds ticked on, I became nervous when I didn’t hear her cry. She had swallowed some fluid as they pulled her free and she had to have her airway cleared. Just as the fear started to set in… she cried. That first “waaah, waah, wah” was the best thing I have ever heard because in that moment I knew she would be alright.

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Her first word: I wanted her to say “Mama” so bad but as with most babies her first word was “dada”. I really don’t mind because she has an amazing father. My kids have done extremely well in the Dad department so I do not begrudge my husband his one special first.

Meeting her brothers for the first time: Sawyer, my oldest, was so proud to be a big brother again. Hudson, my middle child, was less excited and more curious. In fact we caught a quick picture before he pushed her out of his lap. It was a good thing her Papa was right there to catch!

 

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Her first day home: No one sleeps well in a hospital! NO ONE! So when we first brought her home I was exhausted. My boys on the other hand were anything but. I remember them being so excited; excited we were home, excited to see their sister again, and excited to hold her. Hudson was understandably nervous and standoffish. He had been the baby for so long he didn’t understand all the changes that were going on. However, on that first day home Aubrey fell asleep on my chest and I started to dose off… when here comes my sweet Hudson so very softly and he lays his head on my chest next to Aubrey and snuggles in. He had wanted nothing to do with her at first. He had all but pushed her off my lap not once but twice earlier in the day. So him coming over and snuggling in was a huge moment and it began a wonderful relationship between them. I was lucky enough to have my husband catch it in a picture.

 

Her first major movement— rolling over: It took her awhile because her brothers insisted that she should not cry—ever! So they would come and talk to her, roll her over so she didn’t have to do it herself and bring her a toy. She was being spoiled rotten by them. I had to start staggering nap times just so that I could get her alone for tummy time. She hated it at first but once she got it … she was off! She would roll from one side of the room to the other! The boys thought it was great fun!

Her first steps: Aubrey took her first steps the afternoon before she turned 11 months. So technically she started walking at ten months but by only a few hours. Her brothers were there cheering her on, her Daddy was behind her to catch her if she fell and of course we caught it on camera! This is the moment when all babies start that transition into toddler-hood….I’m so not ready!1488430111245

These were just a few of her firsts but they’re the ones I’m going to treasure always. So to all my Mama readers, I hope that this reminds you to B.E. present and cherish your babies a little more today. Revel in the wonder of this human being you were blessed with because before you know it that little one is going to be all grown up.