The Struggle is Real

I have been craving time to sit down and write for my blog; I plan time in my day to do so but then the kids are sick, or there are doctor appointments, and life with three little kids happens…so the writing just doesn’t. Now that I finally get to sit down and write, I want to write about everything I’ve been thinking for the past month. (If I did, this post might turn into a book series!) So, I am going to pick my greatest struggle and share that along with how I am coping. It is something that a friend of mine has been wanting me to write about for a long time now – so here it goes.

I lovingly refer to myself as “Frump Mom”. If you have ever seen “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” you will know exactly what I am referring to. If you are a shut in who doesn’t like to laugh or admire and drool over John Corbett then I am referring to a scene in which the leading character describes herself as “Frump Girl”. She lacked style, self confidence, and, well, personality because she put everyone else ahead of herself. (Sound familiar to any moms out there?) If you haven’t seen it you most definitely need to see it. It is a great movie!

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Prior to having my 3rd child….I didn’t think I be heavier than I was in this photo. I was wrong. Photo Credit: Megan Carey Photography

But I digress. The reason I call myself “frump mom” is because I lack style, and self confidence. I don’t wear cute clothes or anything trendy. I don’t take pictures of myself with my children. In fact, I am ashamed to admit this but, I went through most of the last 5 years worth of pictures and I could only find a handful of pictures of myself (that showed anything lower than my shoulders). So, I guess that also makes me “selfie Mom”. UGH! I tend to find ways to hide myself in pictures. You know “Put the kids in front so no-one notices me.”. Why am I like this? Not because I don’t like pretty clothes or doing things with my family but because of my weight.

Yep. This post is going to be about me facing my biggest struggle…. My weight!

I am overweight. It is not something that I’m proud of nor am I going to make excuses for it. However, the time has come to get serious about losing the extra pounds I have put on. I have struggled with my weight since middle school. I have been up and I have been down. I am currently at my highest weight ever, I need to lose half of me to be in a healthy weight category! Double UGH!!

I have been making excuses for not losing the weight: “I’m too tired to work out”, “I’m still nursing, so a diet isn’t wise right now”, “I will start next week, next month, after the baby is weaned.”….. Can anyone relate? I am done with excuses!

So what am I going to do about it?? Good question. I have tried several diets in the past


Girls night out – this was/is the nicest out fit I own. Sad but true!

and I have had some success but as with any diet I inevitably screw up and cheat once..then again..and by the third time I just give up and eat whatever I want. So a diet isn’t the way to get to a healthier me. I need to make a life change. I need to purposely plan and then stick to a daily food/calorie plan. I need to be held accountable. I need to exercise 5-7 days a week. I need to drink more water and less soda!! So how am I meeting all of my needs?

First I saw my doctor. She did a full exam with blood work and even checked my thyroid. I am a very healthy, overweight, 36 year old woman. She recommended a weight loss clinic for me to visit. Yikes! I was mad at first but honestly I was scared and nervous.

I just had my first visit. I walked in and all of the seats were bigger, the bed in the exam room was bigger. Everything was built to accommodate people of a larger size. I looked around and I cringed. Not because I have anything against anyone who is a larger size (hello, I fall in that category!) but because I found myself sitting in one of those seats and thinking “How did I get here?” It shook me up to say the least.
I met with a nurse practitioner. She went over my last exam and we discussed my eating and exercise habits. She told me a lot that I already knew…see above “need list”, but here is where it is different…she didn’t judge me, she didn’t scold me, or lecture me. Shocking!! I know!!

She simply said “I am here to help and keep you accountable”. She gave me a few basic things to work on: 1. Increase water intake to a minimum of 64oz a day, 2. Exercise for 30 minutes 5 days a week., 3. Try to stick to a 1500 calorie diet that is high in protein, veggies, and fruit. 4. Also drink one protein shake a day. The next thing she did was set me up to meet with a dietitian and to have a test that will determine my metabolic rate. So now I have a simple plan, I have someone to help me, and keep me accountable.

Some things that I am currently doing to help myself stick to the plan:
I am meal planning. I have created a weekly meal plan sheet that I am going to share with you. I use this to think about what I am going to make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That way I can make a grocery list and have on hand exactly what I need to make each dish….so that when I am tired or stressed I don’t fall back on “Let’s just order a pizza!”.
I am prepping snacks and lunches. I wash, cut up, and package fruits, veggies, and snacks so that I can quickly grab something healthy instead of a bag of chips, or something else less than ideal. I am trying to eat more salads so I put everything but the dressing into a ziplock bag and it is ready to dump on a plate or in a bowl….or eat right out of the bag ala’ Lorelai Gilmore. Hey! Don’t judge until you have had to do dishes for a family of five all week!


I have already done one load and it isn’t even dinner time yet!

I am also wearing my fitbit and actively trying to get my 10,000 steps on top of working out everyday. I used to just wear it so I had a watch and so that if someone called or texted I would know if I really needed to go grab my phone or if it could wait until after the laundry was folded. Now I am using it for its purpose.
I am keeping an online food journal via the app My fitness pal. This is helping me count my calories and keep track of my water intake.

None of these changes is easy and I have only started this plan in the past week… So please do not think that I am some holier than thou know-it-all because I am not. I am just being honest about what I am doing to try and help my personal situation. In hopes that I might be able to help someone else experiencing the same thing.

My mom battled her weight for a very long time. I have very few pictures of my mom and I together from my growing up years. (Like mother, Like daughter…. UGH!) I watched her struggle to lose the weight. It took her having a stroke for her to make a life change. I don’t want that to be my story. I don’t want that to be your story! So my prayer is that in me putting myself out there and sharing my own struggle that it will empower even one person to get serious about their own health. I’d love to hear your story, encourage you, and/or pray for you. You can find me on FaceBook or on Instagram @bonnieelaineblog.

I will continue to update you on my progress. Please keep in mind that it didn’t take me a week to get to where I am; so I don’t expect it to take me a week to get to where I want to go. I will have days when I fail (News flash -today was one of those days!). However, I am going to wake up every day and try to B.E. healthier than I was the day before.

Lovingly yours,
Frump Mom!

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My youngest’s newborn photo shoot. “Put the kids is front!” Photo Credit: Megan Carey Photography

P.S. Here is that Freebie I promised!   Weekly Meal Plan-Schedule

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